Update:

We are officially broke as fuck. We have $1400 a month coming in, and our rent costs $1000 a month. I have no idea what the fuck we are going to do. Saul lost his night job, and no one will hire me.

Fat Louie, on the other hand, is thriving: Saucy, smiley, giggly, snuggly, sweet baby Louie. That little boy is the one bright spot left in my life.

I'm so fucking depressed.

Happy New Year

Another year another dime. Bring it, 2012!

Disappearing Act

Sorry to have disappeared for nearly two weeks, between the holidays and other such assorted things, I've had virtually -no- time to blog.

Thanksgiving was a bitch. I roasted a turkey and spent my entire day cooking.

The following day, my uncle lost his fight with cancer. He was 59 years old.

Then, Fat Louie and I came down with pneumonia, so we've been fighting that off for the past week.

It's been a rough couple of weeks.

So last night, I took an Ambien...

And I'm having my husband get that shit out of the house. F'reals.

Took one around 8. Twenty minutes later, I took another one because I forgot I'd taken one.

By the end of the night, I'd taken four because I'd forgotten every single pill I'd swallowed.

If he leaves that bottle with me, I will accidentally kill myself because my stupid ass will forget I'd taken one. So, bye-bye Ambien. Nice knowing you.

Day Five

The meds are working, I think. I feel a bit more upbeat in the morning and am actually able to accomplish shit.

I won't be blogging much over the next few days, I joined National Novel Writing Month and I have exactly twelve days to pull a novel out of my ass.

Just letting the zero people that read this blog know. I'm basically talking to myself, but what the hell. I'm a good conversationalist.

Day Two- New Meds

Took my Zoloft and Lamictal this morning, and aside from feeling a tad loopy, no itching. Feeling good this morning.

Mr. Poppins surprised me with Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 last night, knowing how I'm such a Potterhead. Fell asleep midway, so I plan to watch it this morning after I bring the baby to daycare.

I'm looking forward to having a quiet morning at home by myself.

Day One- New Meds

I picked up the latest cocktail prescribed by the good Dr. M today, and took my first dosage of the Zoloft and Lamictal. I've taken Zoloft off and on for years, it's a good antidepressant for me...but the Lamictal is already making me itchy. No rash yet, just itchy. I don't know if that's some weird psychosomatic effect from me scaring the hell out of myself about Stevens-Johnson syndrome, or a genuine side effect. I'll give it a few days to see if it persists or not. If it does, I'll be putting in a call to the clinic.

Carlos and I are actually being civil to one another now, which is good I suppose. After giving careful consideration to whether or not I wanted to destroy his life, I've since realized that I have no place to ruin someone else's life just because my panties are in a twist. If his wife is meant to find out, she will, and it'll be his own doing. I already have a 24 hour half-life with my own karma, I'd hate to see how the universe bit me in the ass over that one.

I'm spending the evening with my Fat Louie, drinking coffee and listening to the rain. I feel pretty peaceful at the present moment-- but we all know that's subject to change at any moment. :)